Are you ready to read my lips? Get ready for a collection of lips puns that will have you smiling from ear to ear. If you have a desire for some truly awe-some wordplay, you’ve come to the right place. These jokes are sealed with a kiss and delivered with a laugh.

Pucker Up Puns

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, just like my lip balm.
2. My favorite lipstick is a bold color. It shows my boldness.
3. I tried to make a joke about my lips, but it was a bit of a gloss-t cause.
4. My lips are sealed. With lipstick, of course.
5. You have to be careful with lip liner, you don’t want to draw the wrong conclusion.
6. I bought a new lip plumper. It was a swell idea.
7. My lips are feeling chap-tivating today.
8. Don’t give me any lip, I’ve got enough of my own.
9. I’m a big fan of matte lipstick. It’s just my finish.
10. What do you call a secret told by lips? A whisper campaign.
11. My lips are in a committed relationship with my chapstick.
12. I told my friend a lip pun. She said it was smooch appreciated.
13. Why did the lipstick break up with the lip liner? It felt too constrained.
14. My lips have a great sense of humor. They’re always cracking up.
15. I’m not a magician, but I can make your smile appear.
16. What’s a lip’s favorite type of music? Pop, of course.
17. I’m very particular about my lip care. You could say I’m a balm-shell.
18. My lips are like a good book, you can’t help but get lost in them.
19. Why are lips so good at keeping secrets? They know how to zip it.
20. I’m not saying I’m a gossip, but my lips have heard a lot.
21. What did one lip say to the other? “We make a great pair.”
22. I’m not a fan of chapped lips. They’re just not my style.
23. My lips are feeling very pout-sitive today.
24. I’m thinking of starting a lip balm company. It would be the balm.
25. Why did the lips go to school? To improve their voca-balm-ulary.
26. My lips are so soft, they’re un-chap-gettable.
27. I love a good lip scrub. It’s very ex-foli-ating.

Glossy & Funny Lips Puns

28. I like my puns like I like my lip gloss: with a little sparkle.
29. My lips are very open to new ideas. They love openness.
30. I’m not just smiling, I’m giving my lips some exercise.
31. What’s a lip’s favorite game? Kiss and tell.
32. My lips are on a roll. A lip balm roll.
33. I’m not a mind reader, but I can read your lips.
34. Why are lips so trustworthy? They always stick together.
35. I’m not lazy, I’m just in a state of lip-laxation.
36. My lips are like a fine wine, they get better with a smile.
37. What do you call a sad pair of lips? A pout-cast.
38. I’m not arguing, I’m just having a lip-sync battle with myself.
39. My lips are very well-read. They love a good story.
40. Why did the lips get an award? For their outstanding pucker-formance.
41. I’m not a doctor, but I can heal your chapped lips.
42. My lips are very social. They love to talk.
43. What’s a lip’s favorite movie? The Kissing Booth.
44. I’m not a chef, but I can whip up a great smile.
45. My lips are very musical. They love to whistle.
46. Why are lips so good at math? They’re great at addition (of lipstick).
47. I’m not a painter, but I can create a masterpiece on my lips.
48. My lips are very adventurous. They love to try new flavors of balm.
49. What do you call a group of singing lips? A lip-sync choir.
50. I’m not a gardener, but I can grow a great smile.
51. My lips are very athletic. They love to do lip-ups.
52. Why did the lips join the gym? To get a better pucker.
53. I’m not a comedian, but my lips are always cracking jokes.
54. My lips are very stylish. They’re always on trend.

Lips One Liners

55. I have a lot of lip-stick-to-itiveness.
56. My lips are sealed.
57. Pucker up, buttercup.
58. Read my lips: no more bad puns.
59. I’m having a chap-terrific day.
60. This conversation is getting a little lippy.
61. You’re the balm!
62. Let’s stick together.
63. I’m all about that pout.
64. My lips are in mint condition.
65. Don’t give me any of your sass-afras.
66. I’m feeling quite pout-spoken today.
67. This is un-balm-lievable.
68. I’m not a fan of the suspense, just tell me the joke.
69. Why did the ant have such great lips? It was always ant-icipating a kiss.
70. You can’t handle the tooth, or the lips.
71. I’m a gloss-half-full kind of person.
72. My lips are on a mission: a kissing mission.
73. I’m not perfect, but my lipstick is.
74. Keep calm and pucker on.
75. I’m not a player, I just pucker a lot.
76. My lips are my favorite accessory.
77. I’m not a model, but I play one on my lips.
78. I’m not a writer, but I can write a great smile.
79. My lips are my canvas.
80. I’m not a singer, but my lips are always in tune.
81. I’m not a dancer, but my lips have some great moves.

Lips Captions

82. Sealed with a kiss.
83. Pout of this world.
84. Talk is chic.
85. Life is short, buy the lipstick.
86. I’m not sure you can handle this much lip.
87. My lips are speaking volumes.
88. A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear.
89. You won’t belief how good these captions are.
90. My lips are so chapped, they feel saltier than an anchovy.
91. Gloss boss.
92. Keep your standards high and your lipstick on.
93. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking her lipstick to stay on.
94. Pucker up and own it.
95. My lips are the punctuation to my smile.
96. Feeling lippy.
97. A little lipstick never hurts.
98. Smile, it’s free therapy.
99. My lips are ready for their close-up.
100. Warning: may spontaneously start talking about lipstick.
101. I came, I saw, I contoured my lips.
102. Find me where the wild things are… and the good lipstick.
103. Too glam to give a damn.
104. My lips are my signature.
105. Just wing it. Life, eyeliner, and your lip line.
106. Lipstick is my vice.
107. A perfect pout for a perfect day.
108. Let your lips do the talking.

Lips Dad Jokes

109. Why did the lips go to the doctor? They were feeling a little chapped.
110. What do you call a pair of lips that can’t stop talking? A mouth.
111. I was going to tell a lip joke, but I’m having some hesitation.
112. What did the upper lip say to the lower lip? “We need to stick together.”
113. Why are lips so bad at poker? They always show their pucker face.
114. What’s a lip’s favorite kind of story? One with a good kiss-off at the end.
115. How do lips apologize? They kiss and make up.
116. What did the field mouse say about its tiny lips? They’re squeak-tacular!
117. Why was the lipstick so confident? It had a lot of gloss-itive reinforcement.
118. What do you call a lip that’s a detective? Sherlock Balmes.
119. Why don’t lips ever get lost? They always follow the mouth.
120. What did the lip balm say to the chapped lips? “I’ve got you covered.”
121. Why did the lips break up? They just weren’t on the same page.
122. What’s a lip’s favorite exercise? Pucker-ups.
123. Why did the man get a job at the lipstick factory? He wanted to make up for lost time.
124. What do you call a singing lip? A tu-lip.
125. Why was the lip so good at its job? It was very well-spoken.
126. What do you call a lip that’s always cold? A chap-stick.
127. Why did the lips get a promotion? They were great at sealing the deal.
128. What do you call a lip that’s a musician? A lip-sync artist.
129. Why did the lips go on vacation? They needed a break from all the talking.
130. What do you call a lip that’s a painter? An art-pout-ist.
131. Why did the lips get a ticket? For pucker-ing in a no-pucker-ing zone.
132. What do you call a lip that’s a writer? A wordsmith.
133. Why did the lips go to the library? To check out a good book.
134. What do you call a lip that’s a chef? A culinary artist.
135. Why did the lips go to the beach? To get a little sun-kissed.

Lips Jokes

136. A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the steering wheel?” The man replies, “I don’t know, but it’s driving my lips crazy!”
137. Why are lips the best comedians? They’re always cracking up.
138. I’m in such a hare-y to tell you this lip pun.
139. What do you call a lip that’s in a crisis? A pout-break.
140. My lips are so funny, they should have their own stand-up special.
141. I asked my lips for a good joke, but they just gave me a smirk.
142. Why did the comedian’s lip jokes always land? He had great delivery.
143. What’s the difference between a good lip pun and a bad one? The pucker line.
144. My lips tried to tell a secret, but it just slipped out.
145. Why are lips so good at improv? They can always make things up on the smile.
146. I told my lips a joke, but they didn’t laugh. I guess it was too dry.
147. What do you call a joke that only lips can tell? A whisper.
148. My lips are like a comedy duo, always working together for a laugh.
149. Why did the lips get a standing ovation? Their performance was smooch-tacular.
150. I have a joke about chapped lips, but it’s a bit rough.
151. What’s a lip’s favorite part of a joke? The pucker-line.
152. Why are lips so optimistic? They always look on the bright side of a smile.
153. My lips are in a competition to see who can tell the best joke. It’s a real smack talk.
154. What do you call a lip that tells bad jokes? A pun-isher.
155. Why did the lips go to comedy school? To perfect their timing.
156. My lips are so witty, they could win a roast battle.
157. What’s a lip’s favorite type of comedy? Slap-stick.
158. Why are lips so good at storytelling? They know how to spin a good yarn.
159. I tried to write a joke about my lips, but I couldn’t find the right words.
160. What do you call a lip that’s a prankster? A practical-joker.
161. Why did the lips get fired from the joke factory? They kept cracking up on the job.
162. My lips have a one-track mind: humor.

Lips Puns for Cards

163. Hope this card provides some reassurance and a smile.
164. Just wanted to send you a smooch to brighten your day.
165. You’re the balm! Thanks for everything.
166. Read my lips: You’re amazing!
167. Hope your day is as flawless as your lipstick.
168. Sending you lots of love and lip balm.
169. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle… or your gloss.
170. You’re un-chap-gettable!
171. Pucker up, great things are coming.
172. Just a little note to make you smile.
173. You make my heart and my lips smile.
174. Sealed with a loving kiss.
175. Thinking of you and your perfect pout.
176. You’re one in a million, just like my favorite lipstick shade.
177. May your coffee be strong and your lipstick last all day.
178. To my favorite person to lip-sync with.
179. You’re simply the zest, and the balm!
180. Let’s stick together, always.
181. You’re the highlight of my day.
182. I’m not just saying this, I mean it from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my lips.
183. You’re a true gloss boss.
184. Hope this card seals the deal on a great day.
185. You’re looking sharp… like my lip liner.
186. You add color to my life.
187. Just wanted to pucker up your day a bit.
188. You’re a real gem, a ruby woo in a world of nudes.
189. You’re pout-standing!

Did You Know? Lips Fun Facts

190. Lips are unique, just like fingerprints. No two lip prints are the same!
191. The skin on your lips is super thin and doesn’t have sweat glands, which is why they can get dry so easily. It’s a chap-tastrophe!
192. The red color of lips comes from the many tiny blood vessels just beneath the surface.
193. As we age, our lips can get thinner. It’s a pout-rage!
194. The little dip above your upper lip is called the philtrum.
195. Humans are the only animals with a distinct vermilion border, the line between your lips and the rest of your face.
196. Your lips have a huge number of nerve endings, making them one of the most sensitive parts of your body.
197. The muscles around your lips are called the orbicularis oris. They help you pucker up!
198. The desire to have full lips is not new; it has been a sign of youth and sensuality across many cultures for centuries.
199. The first commercial lipstick was invented in 1884. It was a game-changer!
200. Your lips can’t tan. They lack melanin, the pigment that protects skin from the sun.
201. A smile uses anywhere from 5 to 53 facial muscles. That’s a real workout!
202. The term “stiff upper lip” originated in the 19th century as a way to describe someone who shows fortitude.
203. Why are lips so smart? They have a lot of lip-rature.
204. What’s a lip’s favorite subject? Chemis-trie.
205. Why did the lips get a good grade? They were well-red.
206. What’s a lip’s favorite food? Tu-lips.
207. Why are lips so good at business? They know how to seal a deal.
208. What’s a lip’s favorite sport? Kiss-ketball.
209. Why are lips so good at music? They have perfect pitch.
210. What’s a lip’s favorite dance? The tu-lip-step.
211. Why are lips so good at art? They’re great at drawing.
212. What’s a lip’s favorite holiday? Valen-tine’s Day.
213. Why are lips so good at gardening? They have green thumbs… I mean, red lips.

Final Thoughts

We hope this list of lips puns left you with a smile and didn’t just give you lip service. Whether you’re a makeup enthusiast or just someone who appreciates a good joke, these puns are meant to be shared. Don’t let your desperation for more humor go unanswered; it’s time to submit to the laughter and share these with your friends.

Loved these puns? Keep the fun going with our interactive Oh What A Pun Generator – An interactive pun maker that lets you type any word, choose your style, and watch clever puns appear instantly. Give it a whirl!