Get ready for a pun-filled adventure that’s out of this world! These Matt Damon puns are so good, you’ll be telling everyone about them. Whether you’re a fan of his action-packed roles or his dramatic performances, these jokes are sure to be a blockbuster hit.

Good Will Punting: Matt Damon Puns

1. What do you call Matt Damon in a library? Good Will Reading.
2. Why did Matt Damon get kicked out of the casino? He was too good at counting cards, just like in Rounders.
3. I tried to write a Matt Damon pun, but I couldn’t find the Will.
4. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite type of flooring? A Matt.
5. Why is Matt Damon a good gardener? He knows how to grow potatoes on Mars.
6. I asked Matt Damon for his autograph. He gave me an Ultimatum.
7. What did Matt Damon say to the apple orchard owner? “How do you like them apples?”
8. My love for Matt Damon puns is a Bourne identity.
9. Why did Matt Damon break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too much of a Mann.
10. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite game? Hide and seek, especially when he’s Jason Bourne.
11. I’m not a Damon, but I’m a big fan of Matt.
12. Why is Matt Damon so good at math? Because he’s wicked smart.
13. What does Matt Damon use to clean his house? A Damon dust buster.
14. I have a supremacy of Matt Damon puns.
15. Let’s make a pact to tell Matt Damon jokes all day.
16. These puns are the ultimatum in comedy.
17. I’m not lion, these Linus Caldwell puns are great.
18. Don’t be a Departed soul, enjoy these jokes.
19. I’m trying to save these puns for a rainy day, Private Ryan.
20. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite car? A Ford, obviously.
21. He’s not just an actor; he’s a legend of Bagger Vance.
22. I’m stuck on you and these Matt Damon puns.
23. Why did Matt Damon go to space? To get a little Interstellar distance.
24. He’s quite the monumental man.
25. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite part of a song? The Contagion chorus.
26. He really knows how to make an Adjustment Bureau.
27. I’m here after more Matt Damon puns.
28. He’s the bourne of all good things.
29. I’m downsizing my worries and upping my pun game.
30. He’s got the grit to make it in Hollywood.
31. I’m not a rounders person, but I’d bet on him.

Bourne to Be Punny: More Matt Damon Jokes

32. Why doesn’t Matt Damon play poker? Because he always goes all in.
33. What do you call Matt Damon’s autobiography? The Bourne Re-Identity.
34. I have a theory about Matt Damon. A Bourne Conspiracy.
35. He’s so good, it’s un-Bourne-lievable.
36. I was Bourne to tell these jokes.
37. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite breakfast? Bourne flakes.
38. Why did Matt Damon cross the road? He was following a lead.
39. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite band? The Bourne Identity Crisis.
40. I’m having a Damon good time with these puns.
41. You can’t handle the truth about how good these puns are.
42. What does Matt Damon say when he’s surprised? “Oh my Damon!”
43. He’s the apple of my eye.
44. I’m hunting for more good puns.
45. Let’s get this Ocean’s party started.
46. I’m not a rat, but I love The Departed.
47. These jokes are out of this world, just like The Martian.
48. I’m marooned on an island of Matt Damon puns.
49. Let’s science the heck out of this pun list.
50. I’d travel across the galaxy for a good Matt Damon movie.
51. He’s a true star in Interstellar.
52. Don’t be a Dr. Mann, laugh at the jokes.
53. I’m saving my best pun for last.
54. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite school subject? His-story.
55. He’s got the courage under fire to tell these jokes.
56. I’m feeling Invictus with this many puns.
57. He’s a great wall of talent.
58. I’m feeling green zone with envy at his skills.
59. Let’s not get into a Syriana debate about his best film.
60. He’s a real monuments man of the film industry.
61. We bought a zoo full of Matt Damon fans.
62. He’s a true grit kind of guy.

Matt Damon One Liners

63. I’m Matt-ly in love with these puns.
64. Damon, these jokes are good.
65. Are you Jason Bourne? Because you’re unforgettable.
66. I’m on a mission to find the best Matt Damon pun.
67. My sense of humor has a new identity.
68. I’m feeling a supremacy of laughter.
69. This is the ultimatum of pun lists.
70. I’m just hunting for a good time.
71. How ’bout them apples?
72. I’m not a regular fan, I’m a Damon fan.
73. These puns are A-list material.
74. I’m having an Ocean’s of fun.
75. I’d never depart from a good pun.
76. I’m trying to save you from boredom.
77. I’m a martian for your love of puns.
78. My love for you is Interstellar.
79. You’re a monument to good taste.
80. This is a true grit pun.
81. I’m not downsizing my love for these jokes.
82. I’m stuck on you.
83. You’ve made an adjustment to my funny bone.
84. This is some Elysium-level humor.
85. I’m not being a Talented Mr. Ripley, these are my own jokes.
86. I’m Bourne ready for more.
87. This is no Contagion, it’s just contagious laughter.
88. I’m a Good Shepherd of puns.
89. I’m having a Damon good day.
90. You’re a legend, like Bagger Vance.
91. My love for puns is un-bourne-lievable.
92. I’m on a heist for more jokes.
93. He’s got The Rainmaker touch.

Matt Damon Captions

94. Just a small-town boy from Boston.
95. Hunting for good vibes.
96. How do you like these apples?
97. Living life with no regrets, just Bourne instincts.
98. On a mission. Call me Bourne.
99. Feeling like a star, might go to Mars later.
100. Just trying to science the heck out of this day.
101. Assembling my own Ocean’s 11.
102. I’m the one who knocks… on opportunity’s door. Wait, wrong show.
103. Damon, I look good today.
104. Not all who wander are lost, some are just Jason Bourne.
105. My humor has its own identity.
106. Feeling on top of the world, or at least The Great Wall.
107. In a Departed state of mind.
108. Saving Private Ryan from a bad day.
109. It’s a Bourne Supremacy kind of day.
110. This is the Bourne Ultimatum: have a good day.
111. Just a talented Mr. Ripley in the making.
112. We bought a zoo, and it’s wild.
113. Feeling Invictus.
114. Adjusting my attitude at the Adjustment Bureau.
115. This friendship has True Grit.
116. Not downsizing my dreams.
117. Stuck on this moment.
118. My future is looking Elysium.
119. Spreading laughter is not a Contagion.
120. Being a Good Shepherd to my friends.
121. In my Green Zone.
122. Building a Great Wall of memories.
123. Just a Good Shepherd looking for my flock.
124. This is my Elysium.

Matt Damon Dad Jokes

125. Why did Matt Damon bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
126. What does Matt Damon put in his water? Just-ice.
127. Son: “Dad, I’m hungry.” Dad: “Hi Hungry, I’m… Matt Damon.”
128. Why can’t you play hide and seek with Matt Damon? Because Good Will Find Him.
129. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline.
130. I told my wife a Matt Damon joke. She said, “That’s not funny.” I said, “Are you Bourne?”
131. Why did Matt Damon get a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough.
132. What do you call Matt Damon when he’s cold? A Matt Burrr-mon.
133. Why is Matt Damon so calm? He has a lot of inner peace.
134. What did the potato say to Matt Damon on Mars? “You’re my only bud.”
135. Why did Matt Damon stop being an actor? The role wasn’t appealing.
136. I have a joke about amnesia, but I forgot it… just like Jason Bourne.
137. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite exercise? Running… from the CIA.
138. Why did Matt Damon go to art school? To learn how to draw a blank, like his memory.
139. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra. But what does this have to do with Matt Damon? Nothing, it’s just a red herring.
140. Did you hear about the movie about a haunted house starring Matt Damon? It was called The Haunting of Will Hunting.
141. Why don’t they let Matt Damon into the kitchen? He’s always departing with the snacks.
142. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite kind of story? A tale as old as time.
143. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, unlike a Matt Damon thriller.
144. Why did Matt Damon get a ticket? For speeding through the Bourne zone.
145. What’s Matt Damon’s spirit animal? A Damonsel-fly.
146. Why did Matt Damon bring a pencil to the gunfight? He wanted to draw his weapon.
147. What do you call Matt Damon’s less successful brother? Pat Damon.
148. Why was Matt Damon a good astronaut? He was down to Earth, even on Mars.
149. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite candy? Life Savers, for obvious reasons.
150. Why did Matt Damon get lost? He took the wrong root.
151. What do you call Matt Damon when he’s a lawyer? A litigator.
152. Why did Matt Damon join the circus? He was a talented juggler of identities.
153. What do you call Matt Damon’s evil twin? A Damon.
154. Why did Matt Damon bring a map to the party? He heard it was a departed event and didn’t want to get lost.
155. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite kind of tea? Liber-tea, just like Jason Bourne fights for.
156. Why is Matt Damon so good at puzzles? He’s great at finding the missing pieces of his identity.

Matt Damon Jokes

157. What is Matt Damon’s favorite type of investment? Bourne bonds.
158. How does Matt Damon like his steak? Jason Bourne.
159. Why was Matt Damon so good in school? He was at the top of his class.
160. What happened when Matt Damon tried to be a musician? He kept losing his identity.
161. Why is Matt Damon a bad liar? You can always see right through him.
162. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite holiday? Damond Day.
163. What did Matt Damon say when he finished his mission? “It’s Bourne over.”
164. Why did Matt Damon go to the eye doctor? To get his vision checked.
165. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite kind of party? A heist party.
166. Why did Matt Damon get fired from the calendar factory? He took a couple of days off.
167. What do you call Matt Damon’s dog? Bourne to be wild.
168. Why did Matt Damon refuse to fight? He was a pacifist.
169. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite drink? Mar-tian-is.
170. Why did Matt Damon get an award? For his outstanding performance.
171. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite song? “Bourne in the USA.”
172. Why did Matt Damon go to the beach? To catch some waves.
173. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite game show? The Price is Right, especially when he’s a Rounder.
174. Why did Matt Damon become a zookeeper? He wanted to buy a zoo.
175. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite weather? A little mist, like in The Talented Mr. Ripley.
176. Why did Matt Damon get a boat? To sail the seven seas.
177. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite dessert? Apple pie, of course.
178. Why did Matt Damon go to the library? To check out a book on amnesia.
179. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite type of story? A legend.
180. Why did Matt Damon get a horse? To ride off into the sunset.
181. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite flower? A Damon-delion.
182. Why did Matt Damon go to the gym? To work on his core strength.
183. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite board game? Risk.
184. Why did Matt Damon become a chef? He was great at dicing with danger.
185. Why did Matt Damon become a gardener? He was an expert at growing things on Mars.
186. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite type of shoe? Runners, for when he needs to make a quick getaway.
187. What’s Matt Damon’s favorite animal at the zoo he bought? The cheetahs, because they’re fast.

Matt Damon Puns For Cards

188. Hope your birthday is a blockbuster!
189. I’m not Bourne, but I think you’re great.
190. I’m Good Will Hunting for the perfect words to say… Happy Birthday!
191. Damon, you’re old!
192. I’d go to Mars and back for you.
193. You’re the apple of my eye.
194. Our friendship has True Grit.
195. I’m stuck on you. Happy Anniversary!
196. I’d never depart from our friendship.
197. You’re a monument of a friend.
198. I’m saving all my love for you.
199. Let’s make this a day of Supremacy.
200. This is the Ultimatum: have a fantastic day!
201. I’m not a Talented Mr. Ripley, I genuinely think you’re amazing.
202. Hope your day is out of this world.
203. You’re a true legend.
204. I’m Bourne to be your friend.
205. Let’s have an Ocean’s level celebration.
206. I’m here after wishing you the best.
207. Don’t downsize your celebration!
208. Our bond is stronger than a Bourne identity crisis.
209. You’re wicked smart! Congrats on your graduation!
210. I’m not lion, you’re the best. (Linus Caldwell)
211. Hope your recovery is not an ultimatum. Get well soon!
212. You’ve made an adjustment to my life for the better.
213. Our love is Interstellar.
214. I’m Matt-ly in love with you.
215. You’re a star, just like in Interstellar.
216. I’m not playing Rounders, I’m all in on our friendship.
217. You have the Courage Under Fire to do anything!
218. Wishing you a day that’s not a Contagion.

Did You Know? Matt Damon Fun Facts

• Matt Damon famously dropped out of Harvard University just 12 credits shy of graduating to pursue his acting career. The screenplay for Good Will Hunting, which he co-wrote with Ben Affleck, was originally a class project.
• To prepare for his role in Courage Under Fire, Damon lost 40 pounds in just 100 days by following a strict diet and running 13 miles a day. He was told he was lucky he didn’t permanently shrink his heart.
• He and Ben Affleck have been best friends since childhood, growing up just two blocks away from each other in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
• The iconic puppet in Team America: World Police that simply yells “MATT DAMON!” came about because the creators couldn’t get a good impression of him, so they just made the puppet look unintelligent and say his own name. Damon has said he found it hilarious.
• He learned to play piano for his role in The Talented Mr. Ripley.
• Matt Damon is known for his extensive charity work, co-founding Water.org, an organization that helps provide access to safe water and sanitation in developing countries.
• He was originally cast as the lead in Avatar, but had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts with the Bourne franchise. James Cameron had even offered him 10% of the film’s profits.
• He has a humorous, long-running “feud” with talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. For years, Kimmel would end his show by saying, “Apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time.”

Final Thoughts

We hope these Matt Damon puns didn’t feel like an identity crisis. From Boston to Mars, we’ve covered it all. Thanks for reading, and remember, a good pun is never departed from memory.

Loved these puns? Keep the fun going with our interactive Oh What A Pun Generator – An interactive pun maker that lets you type any word, choose your style, and watch clever puns appear instantly. Give it a whirl!