If you’re looking for Post Malone puns, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated a list of jokes that are better now than ever, perfect for any fan of Austin Post. Get ready to laugh until you’re going in circles. This level of obsession with wordplay is totally healthy, we promise.

Better Now Than Ever Post Malone Puns

1. I’m feeling Better Now after hearing that joke.
2. These puns are good, I have zero Malone-aise.
3. Are you a Post Malone song? Because you’ve been running in Circles in my mind.
4. I’d never Post-pone a chance to listen to his music.
5. This party is great, but it could use a little more Post Ma-groan.
6. He’s so successful, he’s in a different Post-al code.
7. His music really has great Post-ure.
8. I’m not saying I’m a fan, but I have a Post-er of him on my wall.
9. I tried to write a song like him, but I couldn’t get the right Post-ure.
10. I’m absolutely Post-itive you’ll love these puns.
11. Don’t be so Malone-choly, listen to some Posty.
12. I’m not a doctor, but these puns are good for your Post-erior.
13. He’s always on point, like a well-written Post.
14. I’m not leaving this party, I’m staying for the Post-ivities.
15. His concerts are always a Wow experience.
16. I’m not rich, but I feel like a Rockstar when I sing his songs.
17. You’re as bright as a Sunflower.
18. Let’s not say Goodbyes, let’s just say see you later.
19. I’m Wrapped Around Your Finger like a Post Malone chorus.
20. These jokes are a real Chemical reaction.
21. I have a Reputation for loving Post Malone puns.
22. I’m not overthinking it, I’m just in a Psycho-logical state of punniness.
23. Let’s make a Toast to Posty.
24. I’m not alone, I’m with Ma-lone.
25. His style is so unique, it’s Post-modern.
26. I’m not a player, I just crush a lot… on his music.
27. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but these puns are Hollywood’s Bleeding good.
28. I’m not a saint, but I’m devoted to these jokes.
29. I’m not a candy, but I’m a Sweet fan.
30. I’m not a patient, but I need my daily dose of Posty.
31. I’m not a thief, but I’m stealing these jokes.
32. I’m not a scientist, but our chemistry is like a Post Malone hit.

Rockstar-Worthy Post Malone Puns

1. I’m not a Rockstar, but I know a good pun when I see one.
2. What does Post Malone say when he’s surprised? Wow.
3. He’s so successful, he’s on another Post-al level.
4. His music has a great Post-production value.
5. I’m not a gardener, but I’m planting these puns everywhere.
6. I’m not a mailman, but I’m delivering these jokes.
7. I’m not a chef, but I’m serving up some hot puns.
8. I’m not a carpenter, but I’m building a collection of Posty jokes.
9. I’m not a painter, but I’m drawing inspiration from his tattoos.
10. I’m not a comedian, but I’m getting a lot of laughs with these.
11. I’m not a fortune teller, but I predict you’ll love these.
12. I’m not a magician, but I can make a good pun appear.
13. I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you laughing.
14. I’m not a writer, but I’m composing some great jokes.
15. I’m not a teacher, but I’m schooling you in puns.
16. I’m not a pilot, but I’m taking humor to new heights.
17. I’m not a sailor, but I’m navigating the seas of wordplay.
18. I’m not a banker, but you can count on these puns.
19. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m making a case for Post Malone humor.
20. I’m not a detective, but I’ve uncovered the best jokes.
21. I’m not a king, but these puns rule.
22. I’m not a queen, but I’m slaying with these jokes.
23. I’m not a knight, but I’ll defend these puns.
24. I’m not a jester, but I’m here to entertain.
25. I’m not a musician, but I’m hitting all the right notes.
26. I’m not a dancer, but I’m moving to the rhythm of these puns.
27. I’m not an athlete, but I’m running with these jokes.
28. I’m not a gamer, but I’m leveling up my pun game.
29. I’m not a model, but I’m striking a pose with these puns.
30. I’m not a star, but I’m shining with this humor.
31. I’m not a hero, but I’m saving the day with laughter.
32. I’m not a legend, but these puns will be.

Post Malone Puns One-Liners

1. You’re the Mal-one for me.
2. Don’t be a Post Ma-loner.
3. I have a Good-bye to bad vibes.
4. I’m on a new level, a Post Malone level.
5. Feeling Post-itively awesome today.
6. I’m not sad, I’m just Post Ma-lone-ly.
7. My favorite food is Post-a.
8. I’m not procrastinating, I’m just Post-poning.
9. I’m in my Posty era.
10. This pun is first Post.
11. I’m not leaving you on read, I’m leaving you on Red.
12. I’m not a ghost, I’m a Post.
13. I’m not a tree, but you can find me in the Post.
14. I’m not a bird, but I’m tweeting these puns.
15. I’m not a cat, but I’m feline fine with these jokes.
16. I’m not a dog, but these puns are the leash I can do.
17. I’m not a fish, but I’m hooked on Post Malone.
18. I’m not a bee, but these puns are sweet as honey.
19. I’m not a cow, but these jokes are udderly hilarious.
20. I’m not a horse, but I’m stable in my love for Posty.
21. I’m not a sheep, but I’m not baa-d at puns.
22. I’m not a pig, but I’m hogging all the good jokes.
23. I’m not a chicken, but I’m not afraid to be punny.
24. I’m not a duck, but I’m quacking up.
25. I’m not an owl, but whooo loves Post Malone? I do.
26. I’m not a frog, but these puns are toad-ally awesome.
27. I’m not a snake, but these jokes are hisss-terical.
28. I’m not a bear, but these puns are unbearable.
29. I’m not a wolf, but I’m howling with laughter.
30. I’m not a lion, but I’m not lion about how good these are.
31. I’m not a tiger, but these puns are gr-r-reat!
32. I’m not a monkey, but I’m going bananas for Post Malone.

Post Malone Captions

1. Feeling Better Now.
2. Living like a Rockstar.
3. Stuck in Circles.
4. Just saying Wow.
5. You’re my Sunflower.
6. No time for Goodbyes.
7. In a Psycho state of mind.
8. I’ve got a new Reputation.
9. Congratulations are in order.
10. Feeling like Hollywood’s Bleeding.
11. I’m not a saint, but I could be.
12. I fall apart, but in a good way.
13. Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind.
14. I’m not trying to be your everything, just your something.
15. I’ve been waiting for a lifetime for you.
16. I’m not a piece of cake for you to just discard.
17. I’m not a stranger to the dark.
18. I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter.
19. I’m not a follower, I’m a leader.
20. I’m not a whisper, I’m a scream.
21. I’m not a shadow, I’m a light.
22. I’m not a memory, I’m a moment.
23. I’m not a question, I’m an answer.
24. I’m not a promise, I’m a guarantee.
25. I’m not a dream, I’m a reality.
26. I’m not a maybe, I’m a definitely.
27. I’m not a sometimes, I’m an always.
28. I’m not a goodbye, I’m a hello.
29. I’m not a tear, I’m a smile.
30. I’m not a frown, I’m a laugh.
31. I’m not a storm, I’m a rainbow.
32. I’m not a problem, I’m a solution.

Post Malone Dad Jokes

1. Why did Post Malone bring a ladder to the concert? He wanted to reach the high notes.
2. What do you call Post Malone when he’s delivering mail? Post Ma-mail.
3. Why doesn’t Post Malone play hide and seek? Because he’s always spotted.
4. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of bread? Post-ed toast.
5. Why did Post Malone go to the post office? To find his roots.
6. What does Post Malone put on his pasta? Ma-lone-ara sauce.
7. How does Post Malone stay cool? He has a lot of fans.
8. Why was Post Malone a good gardener? He had a green thumb and a Sunflower.
9. What’s Post Malone’s favorite part of a joke? The pun-chline.
10. Why did Post Malone cross the road? To get to the other side of the stage.
11. What’s Post Malone’s favorite drink? Post-um.
12. Why is Post Malone so good at video games? He has great aim.
13. What did Post Malone say to the cheese? You’re looking gouda.
14. Why did Post Malone break up with the circle? It was pointless.
15. What’s Post Malone’s favorite movie? The Postman Always Rings Twice.
16. Why did Post Malone get a library card? He wanted to check out some new material.
17. What’s Post Malone’s favorite exercise? Post-ures.
18. Why did Post Malone start a wine company? He wanted to have a grape time.
19. What’s Post Malone’s favorite board game? Post-al Pursuit.
20. Why did Post Malone go to the bank? To check his balance.
21. What’s Post Malone’s favorite subject in school? Post–ry.
22. Why did Post Malone get a boat? He wanted to be on the mainstream.
23. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of story? A Post-apocalyptic one.
24. Why did Post Malone buy a new phone? He wanted to have better reception.
25. What’s Post Malone’s favorite holiday? Post-er Sunday.
26. Why did Post Malone go to the beach? To catch some sound waves.
27. What’s Post Malone’s favorite candy? A Life Saver.
28. Why did Post Malone get a dog? He wanted a loyal companion.
29. What’s Post Malone’s favorite car? A Post-sche.
30. It takes real bravery to tell some of these dad jokes out loud.
31. Why did Post Malone get a tattoo on his face? He wanted to make a statement.
32. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of humor? Self-deprecating.

Post Malone Jokes

1. What’s Post Malone’s favorite game? Postal 2.
2. How does Post Malone like his potatoes? Ma-loned and loaded.
3. What did the fan say to Post Malone at the grocery store? “Can I get a Post-card?”
4. Why is Post Malone like a good investment? He always gives great returns.
5. What do you call a Post Malone concert in a storm? A rain or shine event.
6. Why did Post Malone get a job at the bakery? He was great at making dough.
7. What’s Post Malone’s favorite part of the computer? The Post button.
8. How does Post Malone write his songs? He just Posts his thoughts.
9. What’s Post Malone’s favorite social media? Insta-groan.
10. Why did Post Malone get kicked out of the library? He was too loud.
11. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of coffee? An ex-Post-o.
12. Why did Post Malone go to the eye doctor? He was having trouble seeing the big picture.
13. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of party? A Post-luck.
14. Why did Post Malone get a new grill? He wanted to have a brighter smile.
15. What’s Post Malone’s favorite thing to do on a day off? Post up on the couch.
16. Why did Post Malone get a new wardrobe? He wanted to have a fresh look.
17. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of art? Post-impressionism.
18. Why did Post Malone get a new car? He wanted to have a faster ride.
19. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of book? A Post-er.
20. Why did Post Malone get a new house? He wanted to have more space.
21. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of shoe? Crocs, obviously.
22. Why did Post Malone get a new tattoo? He wanted to add to his collection.
23. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of weather? A little cloudy.
24. Why did Post Malone get a new guitar? He wanted to have a different sound.
25. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of food? Anything from Olive Garden.
26. Why did Post Malone get a new haircut? He wanted to have a new style.
27. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of movie? A blockbuster.
28. Why did Post Malone get a new watch? He wanted to have better timing.
29. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of vacation? A staycation.
30. Why did Post Malone get a new phone number? He was tired of the old one.
31. Some of these jokes might cause a bit of uneasiness, but that’s part of the fun.
32. What’s Post Malone’s favorite type of cheese? Pro-vo-lone.

Post Malone Puns for Cards

1. I hope your birthday is a Wow moment.
2. You’re the only Mal-one for me. Happy Anniversary!
3. Congratulations! You’re a Rockstar!
4. I’m not good at goodbyes, so I’ll just say I hope you feel Better Now.
5. I’d never Post-pone wishing you a happy birthday.
6. Hope your special day doesn’t go around in Circles.
7. You’re my Sunflower in a field of roses.
8. I’m not a saint, but I’m praying you have a great day.
9. I’m Wrapped Around Your Finger. Happy Valentine’s Day!
10. Let’s make a Toast to your success!
11. I’m not a psycho, but I’m crazy for you.
12. I’m so glad I didn’t have to say Goodbyes to you.
13. You have a Reputation for being awesome.
14. I’m not a chemical, but we have great chemistry.
15. I’m not a patient, but you make my heart race.
16. I’m not a thief, but you’ve stolen my heart.
17. I’m not a scientist, but I know we have a connection.
18. I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.
19. I’m not a writer, but you’re my favorite subject.
20. I’m not a teacher, but you’ve taught me what love is.
21. I’m not a pilot, but you make me feel like I’m flying.
22. I’m not a sailor, but you’re my anchor.
23. I’m not a banker, but you’re my greatest treasure.
24. I’m not a lawyer, but I’ll always defend you.
25. I’m not a detective, but I’ve found the one.
26. I’m not a king, but you’re my queen.
27. I’m not a jester, but you make me smile.
28. I’m not a musician, but you’re my muse.
29. I’m not a dancer, but you make my heart skip a beat.
30. I’m not an athlete, but you make my heart race.
31. I’m not a gamer, but you’re my final boss.
32. Don’t feel any reluctance to share these with your friends.

Did You Know? Post Malone Fun Facts

1. His real name is Austin Richard Post.
2. He chose the name “Malone” from an online rap name generator.
3. Before fame, he worked at a Chicken Express in Texas.
4. He played in a metal band before he became a rapper.
5. He has his own line of rosé wine called Maison No. 9.
6. He’s a huge fan of the video game Apex Legends and has streamed himself playing.
7. He’s known for his love of Olive Garden and their breadsticks.
8. He has a popular and often sold-out collaboration with Crocs.
9. He taught himself to play guitar by watching YouTube videos.
10. His first hit, “White Iverson,” was uploaded to SoundCloud in 2015.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully, these Post Malone puns didn’t leave you with too much anguish and instead made you say ‘Wow.’ Whether you’re a certified Rockstar or just a fan, sharing a good laugh is always a good idea. This kind of caring through humor can brighten anyone’s day. Don’t postpone the fun; share these jokes with your friends!

Loved these puns? Keep the fun going with our interactive Oh What A Pun Generator – An interactive pun maker that lets you type any word, choose your style, and watch clever puns appear instantly. Give it a whirl!